


Your heart in a dream

by jaeseoksoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 18:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17472545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeseoksoo/pseuds/jaeseoksoo
Summary: He’s gone but never permanently so you dream to see him again.





	Your heart in a dream

**Author's Note:**

> For my dear friend, Tas.

The weak rays of the setting sun streamed through the gauzy, purple curtain. Soft afternoon wind parts the curtain and blows soft kisses against Baekhyun’s perfect face, his hair softly swaying to reveal dark eyes gazing steadily at you. He reaches out and rests a soft palm on your cheek, thumb moving in circles to soothe and wipe away the tears trailing down your face. 

Tears..? 

You don’t remember crying but Baekhyun is always just one step ahead of you, ahead of your heart, comforting you even when you don’t know you needed to be comforted. He whispers words that ease the pain in your heart. You would always turn to his soft touch, cheek resting against the warm palm caressing your face. Baekhyun would smile and it would make everything hurt less as you forget why you were bothered and hurting in the first place. 

Baekhyun would slowly lean towards you to encase you in a hug, his lips grazing your cheek to plant a reassuring kiss, filling you with the same love and affection you’ve come to know all the years you have been together. You move your head to the side to give him a proper kiss, a kiss of thanks and gratitude but—

Your eyes fly open. Your heart thumps crazily against your chest as you look to the side to calm yourself. The afternoon sun shines weakly on you, on the empty space beside you and the wind continues to disturb the curtains as it blows coldly over your wet face. 

Wet. Crying. You’ve been crying a lot. 

The silence amidst your pain reminds you that everything is just a dream. There is no Baekhyun. You don’t have him back and you don’t know if you ever will. Somehow, the afternoon scenery that always managed to take your breath away as it framed Baekhyun’s sleepy face in the setting sun only reminded you of the last afternoon you had with him. 

“I’ll be back, I promise. It will only be a few months. I have to do it for us. For our future. Trust me. I’ll miss you, too.”

His words keep playing in your head. Over and over. You want to forget but you never forget. You never forget anything about Baekhyun now. 

You miss Baekhyun even now, and you still trust him even when every fiber of your being screams to let go and stop hoping. 

But. 

What is a future without the man you love? A bleak one. You tell yourself that you do this for the both of you, too, but you do this mostly for yourself. 

You regret not saying anything as you saw him leave through the front door, bags filled with his dreams, but not with you. Your head was filled with hopes of Baekhyun’s success and the future that awaited the both of you when he returns. 

But it was an if. Not a when. You know that now. 

“I love you and I never said that.” 

You always believed you would have a lot of chances to utter them once he came back. But two months became two years and you fear you’re starting to forget how his voice sounds like. You remember his smile but soon, even that will start to fade away. 

Your head is filled with insecurities and Baekhyun as you curl around your pillow, memories of the one you love washing over you. 

You close your eyes and you surrender all control. 

You hope to dream. 

☆ ☆ ☆ 

You dream. 

Baekhyun’s back was always sturdy as it pressed against your own. He always loved being the smaller spoon. Even after all the dyeing his job required of him, he still had the softest hair on the back of his neck. You buried your face every time you lay together just to feel the soft dark hair brushing your skin. It was always easy to let the familiar scent of sunlight and pine trees pull you back to the liminal space of your dreams. 

When dreams didn’t take you, as it easily did Baekhyun, you let your fingers tease that tender spot on his waist. Baekhyun was always ticklish; his breath hitched even at the gentlest of touches and he is so sensitive that even when asleep, a soft smile would blossom on his perfect lips. 

During the weekend mornings, you started your day early but Baekhyun was never an early riser. He never failed to shoot a glare at the cruel sun filtering through the cheap curtains you bought on a whim because he said it matched your eyes even though you knew he was lying because you didn’t have soft purple eyes. 

Baekhyun muttered how unfair it was having to wake up so early when he could spend the whole morning snuggled under your protective arms. You laughed as he complained yet when you dragged yourself off the bed, he immediately wrapped around you like a misunderstood eldritch monster with too many arms to use and too much love to give.

☆ ☆ ☆ 

“If you can have him back again, would you?”

☆ ☆ ☆ 

You dream most about him as the sun sets and the moon hangs over the city, bathing everything in silver. 

“Baekhyun...” you sigh, looking over your shoulder at him. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“It’s 7 pm, of course, I’m awake,” he murmurs in reply, planting a kiss against your shoulder. Baekhyun buries his face into your skin, lips brushing your flesh as he speaks.

“Still.. how long are you going to think of me like this?” His voice is muffled, distant and almost distorted around the edges. It reminds you that it’s not real. He’s not real. This is just another dream. 

“As long as I have a mind that thinks and a heart that beats for you,” you reply without missing a beat. The answer seems to satisfy dream Baekhyun—the Baekhyun living in your heart—and he sighs with content, laying his head against your chest. 

He looks up at you through hooded eyes, silver eyes sparkling softly under dark lashes. He sometimes appears looking like this in your dreams, like the moon, always brilliant, always shining but gone as a new day breaks. 

“Sleep longer,” he suggests as you lean in to kiss him lazily. It’s always warm and soft when you kiss him in your dreams. It makes you miss him something fierce when you wake up but that is for the future you to deal with, not now. 

“Maybe I can sleep a bit longer. Be with you longer.” The words are laced with love and bitterness and if dream Baekhyun picks it up, he never shows because he just hums in agreement as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ears. 

“Do you know why I left?” Baekhyun asks. His eyes shine with unshed tears. There he goes again. You wonder if the real Baekhyun sheds those tears when he thinks of you now. 

“For us. For our future. For—“

“—the promises I could never keep. For the happiness I could never give.” 

Even in dreams your sobs wrack your whole body. You tell him that he was the happiness you needed and his going away meant taking away your happiness. 

The Baekhyun in your dreams always smiled a sad smile whenever you said that. It was always the same dream and he would always disappear before you can tell him it would work out. That it would work out if only he came back. 

You open your eyes just as he whispers a parting “I will always love you” against your ear, the ghost of his lips pressing gently to your temple and arms squeezing you as a final farewall. And you miss him terribly, more terribly than yesterday. And so you cry, your own arms trying to shield you from the onslaught of grief and loneliness. 

And you dream another day because only in dreams is there respite to be found. Only there can you meet Baekhyun again.


End file.
